Notes from the RNC


The big names brought in by Trump yesterday — Scott Baio, Antonio Sabato, Jr., his wife Melania — all became famous, at least at first, because of their looks.

Trump, remember, is the guy who cares so much about looks that he bought the Miss America Pageant, and won’t shut up about how hot Ivanka is.

He is shallow. Covers matter more to him than books. Because he doesn’t read books.



Why is Scott Baio speaking at a political convention? Has he, like, done anything that I’m unaware of in the political sphere, in the way, say, George Clooney or Mark Ruffalo have? Why do we care what he has to say? And can Henry Winkler speak in Philly next week and tell him to sit on it?



Trump does not understand the concept of suspense-building. If he directed Jaws, the shark would appear right at the gate, and in every scene throughout. Will he be able to stay away until his big speech later in the week? I doubt it.



Melanie did a nice job delivering Michelle Obama’s speech. She looked poised. It’s sort of stunning that a Slovene supermodel could be the next First Lady. But the speech itself taught us nothing new about her husband. Not a single personal detail was revealed.



I turned on the TV, and this old gray guy with a maniacal face was shouting about stuff, and I thought it was a scene from a horror movie. Nope, it was Alabama’s Jeff Sessions!



This shit can’t be over soon enough.